I won't lie, I'm not sure I really gave this one a chance, considering it sat with me in traffic for some 20-odd minutes on the way to my picnic destination. And besides that, if some immovable force is telling you that you just haaaave to get a burger in Mexico City, your best bet is to scan the street for a random sizzling hot grill and a long line. But still, I had to try Chubbies, if for nothing but the aesthetic. And the aesthetic is just about all I got. A super cute adult-sized happy meal-style box, equipped with everything you need for your burger-on-the-run including condiments, napkins, etc (no toy though). As adorable it was, my now lukewarm burger didn't seem as if it ever really had much life to it, or even seasoning for that matter.

Old Tavern style, dimly lit, cozy, quiet corner bar. Easy to find (not easy to find parking, however). Burgers at dive bar prices with reasonably sized and well-selected beer and natural wine menu (small enough to fit on a single chalkboard). Grab a side order of fries or pickled veggies and voila, a whole ass meal.

This shit is fire. Popping up a day before the start of VICE Burger’s weekend shift across from the Corner in downtown Miami definitely sets the stage for some competition (so much so that VICE Burger has reportedly been showing up a day early as of late). Another Miami smash patty with several options including the pungent “Pickle Rick” and the classic Cowy burger topped with a bacon jam that should probably apply for a registered trademark sometime soon. While the sandwich itself might be a little smaller than VICE’s, the option for variety plus the ability to get a side of piping hot waffle fries gives this [2-cooler] pop up a fighting chance.

Edit: pretty sure, they're at J Wakefields on Thursdays now :(

Okay, so I feel like I kinda just shat on VICE Burger by raving about how good the smash burgers from Cowy are, but god damn VICE burger is there to slippity slap when you need it to, especially after sweating your ass off at Space [for two hours off nothing but 3 vodka shots and half a $6 bottle of water you split with your bestie]. For 15 bucks plus tax and tip, you get a quarter pounder smash patty on sauce pickles and steamed buns delivered to you with American cheese still melting in the foil-wrapping. Usually, it feels like you’ll need to share one with your partner, but you’re wrong. Something about the savory ratio of onions to salt to gooey goodness makes it slide down in what seems to be seconds. And good thing, too, cause those sodas are another 4 bucks I do not usually wanna spend (there’s Free Water across the street, don’t worry). Hours for this pop up literally start around 1AM on Friday and Saturday night and shuts down just before sunrise.

I had this burger in Fort Lauderdale. Eat BMC is a pop up traversing the South Florida scene with a few regular posts throughout the week including Lazerwolf in Fort Lauderdale and Wynwood’s J. Wakefield. Simply put, a classic smash burger. Crisp edges, soft cushiony potato buns, and american sauce and cheese, with the “deluxe” option for lettuce tomatoes etc.

Sidewalk diner shows up kind of whenever it feels like. Run by the creators of the eponymous Sidewalk Bottle Shop and operated right outside the establishment (on the sidewalk), this food truck regularly hosts pop up chefs from around South Florida on a weekly basis with a wide range of elevated street food and casual fine dining. As for the burgers, they literally melt. in. your. mouth. This effect has something to do with beef gelatin and red onion confit infusion and maybe some other Michelin-esque mad scientist nonsense. Can’t ask for much else from a well-burnt piece of truck meat, but you should, as Sidewalk readily offers pairings of Fort Lauderdale’s best natural wine selection, canned Shoju, and Twisted Tea on tap.

Honestly, this location is a little confusing, smack dab on 8th in the middle of little Havana, making an attempt at Americana coney island style burger stand. Some outdoor seating is available, but burgers are ordered through the window with options straying away from carnival-grade beef and instead boasting wagyu beef and steak sandwiches. Naturally, this comes at a cost, that I’m just not sure hits the mark.

A walk away from the Citadel in Little River, this seemingly standard brewery offers an encompassing but uncomplicated menu of American classics for consumption alongside beer and live sports. Great for staying lowkey with lots of tables and even outdoor seating. The go-to burger option, however, does not really live up to the rest of the experience. Although their patties are well-seasoned and cooked accurately to order, their actual flavor seems to fall flat, quite literally, between two over inflated, puffy white breaded buns.

Located at the back of the citadel, USBS has a cute and committed aesthetic to their punny name, dishing out American-style smash burgers with side options of French fries with kooky seasonings and sauces. A convenient antithesis to the burger option at nearby Off Site, USBS adds emphasis on the smash in smash patty, with delectable, soft potato buns that tightly grip an otherwise approachable, but unexciting beef patty.

At long last, the legendary Sunday-only first-come-first-serve Ted’s burger stand. The hype is kinda worth it, but also, you get what you expect. Super slim, crispy edged backyard smash patty on potato buns with all the classic fix-ins. Soft and easy going. Wish they had fries or some Mexican Coke; even a double won’t really fill you up if you’re proper hungry.

This menu was not very appealing from the jump, cause I hate having too many options. Something like 20 different burgers, at least. Obviously a Fort Lauderdale concept trying to elevate basic American street eats, as you can tell from the homage to trans American highways on the wall decor and the spider-cycle sculpture thing (you gotta see it to understand) suspended above you when you enter. But also sometimes fuck elevation, I just want a hamburger. Every burger is seemingly somewhat over done with soaked cheeses or slimy accoutrement, although the flavors definitely not bad. Just underwhelming for a 20 dollar hamburger (but Mondays they’re only 12 with fries included!). Hard to review considering every burger is different from buns to cheese to even patty! Probably will not go back for a burger, myself, but there's an interesting range of beer options!

Another Miami staple for burgers, kinda reminds me of VICE, but somehow more expensive, I guess because of the “ambience” and being provided an actual seat. Still, a strong contender for the best burger in Miami, plus availability 7 days a week till midnight daily.

Double smash patty, gooey but not chewy American cheese, with a crispy edge all the way around (even the middle bites), this cheeseburger feels like indulgence personified. Each bite starts with the rough char of the grill, in a good way, I swear, but is then balanced out, met with a childlike tangy sourness from onions, pickles, and mustard. And most importantly, it comes with fries, even though it’s not exactly a light snack on its own.

Finally got a chance to try the legendary "Big Macch", the famed and expectedly artisanal cheeseburger from South Beach’s high-profile Macchialina. Little Haiti’s Sullivan St cibatta? gives a buttery and moist start but with an excitingly crunchy rim to wrap an all-around mellow homegrown flavor, “farmhouse”-style, not too peppery or charred, but cozy and easygoing. Melted fontina and mushrooms make for a balanced weight and mesh well with the meat’s gamier medium-well finish. This burger is unsurprisingly at a higher price point than most others in the city, but it comes with fries and a very extensive wine list featuring many biodynamic and natural options available by the half bottle. Not to mention, the Big Macch comes pre-cut in half, so grab a buddy, try a weird anti-pasti and dig in.

A truly classic spot, Jack’s Hamburgers proudly boasts over 50 years of service riding on the same simple formula: daily fresh cut beef and Americana flavor inside-and-out. Simple interior, wood paneling, nothing too flashy other than the jukebox hiding out in the back of the restaurant, pumping out family friendly tunes from the disco era. The menu can seem complex for a second, but pretty easy to follow. Hamburger, cheeseburger, 1/3lb, 1/4lb. For anyone who needs more than good meat, bread and white American cheese, there’s a do-it-yourself counter featuring all the fixins you could ask for (without going overboard) from ketchup to dill-pickled mustard and jalapeños. For myself, a Jr Cheeseburger + fries does the trick for a filling lunch break, but the milkshake on top might be a little much for those headed back to work afterwards.
Takeaway: tastes like McDonald’s was probably supposed to back in the 60s, and I absolutely mean that in a good way

Not gonna rant about this. It’s PJ Clarks, I mean these guys have had somewhere near 150 years to get this recipe right. And for $20+ per burger option, they better. In my opinion, they have. Keeping away from the fancy-shmancy bacon jams and gelatins, PJ’s classic American bacon cheeseburger gives you simple, lightly salted patriotic beef flavor, cooked perfectly medium unless ordered differently with the option to add pickles and raw onions, served on the side, to your own liking.

Damn do I love a steamed bun. And for a crispy-edged smash patty on a bed of pickles and American sauce for less than 10 bucks, it’s kinda worth the hype and dealing with the chaos of LES after 8PM. Lengthy line, but quick service, down the street from all of the lower east sides parties and a full view of the kitchen at work. Mcdonald’s like assembly line x10, with cooks flipping tens of burgers and buns at a time. Side of fries is a must, just in case a lightweight single patty doesn’t fill you up — Mexican Coke or Sprite from the fridge is optional (it’s not though).

Simple window walk up concept offering a wide range of Americana eats from burgers to shakes. Menu is a little too big, with multiple options for each main option (burgers, chicken sandwiches, hot dogs, shakes, lemonades, desserts, and I’m pretty sure that’s not even everything).

The lack of focus unfortunately shows through the execution, with the “famous burger” proving to be quite bland, but not in the good way where you just taste quality meat, more like cheap beef flavor. This is served on relatively dry, floury buns that have seen neither the toaster or the steamer. That said, for 7.50 and open past 10PM on weeknights, it gets the job done. Giving mind to the name, this must be picked up with a side of thick cut, wedged potato fries to share with a buddy, served alongside one of many sauces (heads up, the curry ketchup is very curry, almost too much so). I’d say the most authentic part of this little slice of Americana was the authenticishhh strawberry syrup that comes in the lemonade to wash it all down.